Friday, March 30, 2007

A Sweaty Friday

I’ll be brief. I think that’s what you want and I need after my mammoth post yesterday. I’m really sorry it was so long as I'm sure nobody read it.

To be honest, I don’t have much time right now to write a long essay. I’m dripping with sweat after a gruelling workout since I’m trying to get myself in condition for tonight when I’m making an early return to the stripping circuit.

I’ll be at the Green Dragon Tavern at ten, performing my new routine, which I’m calling ‘Gunboat Diplomacy’. It’s a topical routine, even though I say it myself. It ends with the last bit from the 1812 overture as the canons roar and my thong goes sailing out into the crowd. It’s as close as I get to making an overt political gestures in my act but I’ve had enough of this country being made to look foolish by these Iranians who are, let me remind you, a nation very hostile to the thong and thongdom.

At these times of heightened international tensions, I think all we can ever do is to thong on and never look back.

See you all tonight at the Green Dragon Tavern. And remember: when I shout ‘take aim’, the first person to cry ‘Fire!’ gets the thong.

3 comments:

GreatGranPapaPat said...

Chip, I have come to the eventual conclusion that your too frequent Comments score of 'nul points' is probably due to your regular readers [and I count myself here] simply being overawed by your literacy... The vast majority can't compete, thus the paucity of replies.
Most blogs are relatively brief in their content and more so in their humour. Yours is quite the reverse...

Quit this blog AT ONCE and put all your efforts into WRITING YOUR [humourous?] NOVEL, now. You know you have it in you.

p.s. your humour certainly isn't of the classic Welsh variety, as you never seem to mention the English in pejorative terms - has it been tempered by your lovely live-in Gabby ?

So, GO TO IT
"FIRE"...

Chip Dale said...

Greatgranpapapat,

You're so kind I feel unusually lost for words. Alas, The Chipster already has a humourous novel written but the world insists that he stays naked. Until I get an agent interested (or even a publisher), that book and my next ('Chip Dale's Guide to Thonglateering') will remain unpublished.

I don't know why I have lots of comments and then very few. I sometimes think it's somebody about my personality that people don't like. Perhaps don't comment enough on other people's blogs, but it takes me all my time to write this one.

As for not baiting the English enough: I have to say this very quietly but my parents are English! I have also been know to support England during the World Cup but I keep that very quiet. They might take away by Welsh stripping crown if too many people get to know.

Ms Baroque said...

I think you should write another novel. It can be the second, third, or even eighth one that makes the breakthrough.

You wouldn't give up so quickly if it was a thong missing its target!

Chippy, I sense that you do feel the need to write your next novel. Make it an everyday take of stripping Welshmen and cheeky Romanian moonshiners, and I feel it will do well.

Just don't forget us.