Max Bygrave's Blue Tit

‘How big is a blue tit?’

I really don’t know but somebody came by this website today to find out. Why am I telling you this, you might ask? Well, you might say that I’m just a little bored tonight. I should really be off out soon, performing at the Green Dragon. Instead, I’m here in the flat perusing my web statistics.

I’m not normally a man to go on about his visitor numbers but today’s have been appalling. Has the world been too busy watching the budget to care about the state of Welsh thongdom? I’m beginning to wonder if it’s something I’ve said. Is it these Auden poems I’ve been quoting lately? Whatever it is, it seems to be turning people away.

Not for the first time, it's made me consider giving up blogging and taking up some other hobby. I could have made myself a fine spice rack if I’d taken carpentry at night school…

Bored, bored, bored, and ignored by all…

Which is why I’ve decided that I’m going to get myself a theme song. It's something I've been missing for a while. I want a tuneful tune that makes you think of the nation’s top thongster whenever you hear it played. I’d like to automatically start playing whenever you come and visit this blog, though I’ve been told that’s not possible and is considered poor net etiquette. Instead, I’ll simply have to adopt it as the official Chipster anthem to be used only on ceremonial occasions.

As to the music, ‘The Stripper’ is too obvious Ideally it would a song with the word ‘thong’ in the title but I don’t know any. I’m quite tempted to adopt the following tune, ‘Florida Fantasy’ from Midnight Cowboy.



I could have gone for ‘Everybody’s Talkin’’ but that’s too well known and my favourite track from the film is the theme song itself. The only reason stopping me confirming this song here and now is that I’m not sure I want to be associated with a film about a New York hustler. Then again, what are my alternatives?

‘Thongs For The Memories’ by Bob Hope?
‘The Munchkin Thong’ from Wizard of Oz?
‘Thong You Very Much…’ by The Scaffold?
‘Thong Sung Blue’ by Neil Diamond?

Or perhaps just ‘G Strings from Amsterdam’ by Max Bygraves…