Tuesday, March 06, 2007

The MacDonald Brothers

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse than Take That reforming, there’s news that the MacDonald Brothers have landed a double album deal. For those of you who don’t live with Romanian songbirds who insist on watching the X Factor each week, the MacDonald Brothers are singers in the tradition of The Proclaimers but without the spectacles, social commentary, melodies, sweaters, or even a hit record. What they lack in talent that make up for with kilts, so there’s no need to worry. They have plenty of kilts.

Call The Chipster a cynical old Welshman but I’ll not be linking to them sometime soon. The war against this form of terrorism has to start somewhere and I say it starts at my thong and ends with cruise missile strikes on Aberdeen or wherever else they come from. It is only a heightened sense of professionalism that stops me plunging a rusty knife into my genitals whenever I hear them begin to sing in close harmony.

And, of couse, Gabby says ‘men in dresses gorgeous you think’.

Well, I don’t think. The only way they possess the X factor is if the ‘X’ is found written on the label of a large bottle with a child-safe cap found beneath the kitchen sink. And safety cap or no safety cap, if that CD comes into this house I’ll be bleach my insides before I put my head in the microwave.

I don’t tell her this, of course. She dyed my hair pink because of something I said about Take That. My insulting The MacDonald Brothers might involve some rare form of Romanian torture.

Such as, in fact, listening to The MacDonald Brothers…

4 comments:

mutterings and meanderings said...

Methinks you're feeling ever so slightly threatened by these boy band types ...

Chippy said...

Threatened in what sense? Do I fear them? Well, yes I do. Do they make me feel less of a man? I laugh at the suggestion and gyrate and thrust my greased hips in the direction of the nearest female. Have at you, ladies! Ha!

Anonymous said...

Whateverrrr.. The MacDonald Brothers are lovely and have great voices, which is more than you have mate!

Chip Dale said...

But you've never heard me sing, Anonymous. I have a lovely voice. It's a bit Barry White but with a touch of Tom Jones.

And what's more: I also have a lovely name. Which is more than you have my anonymous mate!