The MacDonald Brothers

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse than Take That reforming, there’s news that the MacDonald Brothers have landed a double album deal. For those of you who don’t live with Romanian songbirds who insist on watching the X Factor each week, the MacDonald Brothers are singers in the tradition of The Proclaimers but without the spectacles, social commentary, melodies, sweaters, or even a hit record. What they lack in talent that make up for with kilts, so there’s no need to worry. They have plenty of kilts.

Call The Chipster a cynical old Welshman but I’ll not be linking to them sometime soon. The war against this form of terrorism has to start somewhere and I say it starts at my thong and ends with cruise missile strikes on Aberdeen or wherever else they come from. It is only a heightened sense of professionalism that stops me plunging a rusty knife into my genitals whenever I hear them begin to sing in close harmony.

And, of couse, Gabby says ‘men in dresses gorgeous you think’.

Well, I don’t think. The only way they possess the X factor is if the ‘X’ is found written on the label of a large bottle with a child-safe cap found beneath the kitchen sink. And safety cap or no safety cap, if that CD comes into this house I’ll be bleach my insides before I put my head in the microwave.

I don’t tell her this, of course. She dyed my hair pink because of something I said about Take That. My insulting The MacDonald Brothers might involve some rare form of Romanian torture.

Such as, in fact, listening to The MacDonald Brothers…