Saturday

As you can tell, I’m not here today. Actually, I'm here but I’ve been enjoying a day off after wowing the ladies with my routine last night.

The Green Dragon Tavern was a riot and it was as though the Chipster hadn't been away. The only thing to go wrong was that one lady got so excited that she wrote her phone number on my thigh. She used one of those permanent markers and now the number won't come off. I tried using a scouring pad but I couldn't get past the dial code before the pain became too much.

I also need to make a request:

Could whoever it was that caught my thong last night please contact me. I left the spare front door key in the secret pocket stitched into the crotch and I really don't want to change the lock.