Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Who's The Daddy?

The Chipster is first to admit when he’s wrong but only the second to point it out.

Thanks to Steve at The Daily Referendum, I now notice that I declared my opponents the victors too early in the night. I’ve actually made it through to the next stage of the Blog Power awards. Of course, it's only one category when I hoped to get through in nineteen, but the fact that it’s for the ‘Most Articulate Wordsmith’ has not been lost on me, though I don't know what to say. I mean. Er... Cripes. Cheers...

Of course, I’m also very grateful. And I suppose I should also say congratulations to the other nominees, some of whom have the good sense to pop occasionally into Chip Dale Central and leave comments and otherwise bask in the glow of my greatness. I hope you'll all go and vote for Steve and Rilly at least once whenever to take you five minute cigarette breaks when repeatedly clicking on my name long into the evening.

It means, of course, that I’ll be pestering every single one of you to vote from now on. If you have relatives (and let’s face it, who doesn’t?) I want you to pester them too. Who knows, I might be the cause of a family reunion. Of course, if you pester them enough I might be the cause of a family meltdown, but that’s really none of my concern. I mean, I’m a stripper for God’s sake! I’m not some emotional councillor…

You can also assure yourself that you won’t be the only ones voting like right wing pensioners in Florida. Gabby has already written to her Romanian clan to get them voting. I expect the pigeon to hit Romanian airspace some time tomorrow morning, so look for a sudden surge of peasant votes, smelling faintly of potato gin, around that time.

Finally, I want to make us of this late and slightly drunken post, to thank all five of you who voted for me. It really goes to show what a huge and devoted readership can do when they put their minds to a task. If you’re interested, you might like to know that I have plans in a drawer somewhere which would involve us in overthrowing old world order and creating a utopia based around the thongs. Unfortunately, my plans need nine of us, and with five of you out there, Gabby, Monica, and myself, that’s only eight. Still, in a few months time, perhaps we’ll have the numbers to make a go of it.

For now, it’s good to have been nominated.

[I'm sure there are spelling mistakes in the above and some pretty dodgy grammar too, but even we articulate wordsmiths have to rush off to watch the football occasionally...]

11 comments:

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

Congratulations! That's a well deserved nomination.

rilly super said...

the trouble is, chip dear fellow, that you are really in a category of your own.

Delicolor said...

I only put you forward to piss off the intellectuals!

I'm sure you could have made it into more categories, but lets face it, you do own up to an activity that many people find offensive and would be embarrassed to admit. (Voting Lib Dem, I mean).

(Ta Ta Tiissh on the drums)

Big Chip Dale said...

Maryam, many thanks. And I believe congratulations are also in order. You went through these awards like a plate of slightly undercooked prawns during warm weather. Never have I seen people move so quickly to vote! And 4 nominations too! You make me feel decidedly small and insignificant. In fact, you make me feel quite Welsh. I hope you win the lot.

Rilly, I hope you too also win the lot. But damn it all to Cardigan Bay. Are all you big bloggers coming here just to mock me about my one measly nomination? If I hadn’t sent Romanians to all of Bangor’s internet cafes, I might not have even had that. Still, your nomination was clearly deserved. Good luck for the next stage. I’ve asked the peasants of Romania to vote for you. I’m going to remain impartial throughout, just like David Dimbleby.

Ian, what can I say? Thank you for using me as a means to piss of the intellectuals. How great an honour is that? Of course, the problem with your doing that is that you fair to note that I too am now an intellectual. I’m just of a different school. I doubt if you could really embarrass some of the other bloggers, though. Being Lib Dem can’t be an embarrassment to far to people who appear on Doughty Street. I’m only glad I have a slow internet connection and the picture keeps breaking up. In high definition, I imagine it could get quite nasty.

Jan Tregeagle said...

We'll just have to get you on Doughty Street Chippy with your new found fame.

Congratulations.

Edwina Currie said...

You won't get me voting for you anyway, you badger murdering prick.

Big Chip Dale said...

Jan, I'll do a streak down Doughty Street but I'm afraid they couldn't afford my professional rates to get me to do it live on air.

Edwina, I don't know what I've done wrong. I take it you've read my comment on Bryan's blog? Well, I never said I did it myself. I just happen to have met somebody who tried it. And the badger didn't die. It just had a headache. And for the record, my badger skin thong is actually fake fur.

Edwina said...

I'd like to say I believe you, Chip, or is it Big Chip, but while andering the woods the other night I noticed a thong wearing gentleman smashing the head of a poor defenceless badger with a shovel. I went over and beat the shit out of the gentleman who, now that I think of it, didn't have a Welsh accent. And thankfully the badger did recover.

Daily Referendum said...

Don't worry about badgers, they are as hard as nails. I've got one that goes through my bin every time my head hits the pillow. I'm forever dropping golf balls on its head from my bedroom window, but the bloody thing doesn't even flinch.

Don't ask why I keep golf balls in my bedroom.

Big Chip Dale said...

Edwina, how can badgers be defenseless when you're around to stand up for them. That's like giving them access to nukes.

Steve, well you clearly keep golf balls in the bedroom to throw them at badgers. Which, if you ask think old thongman, is a bloody sensible precaution. Just don't let Edwina catch you or they wouldn't be the only balls sent sailing off into the night.

Edwina said...

Too fucking right.