Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A Novel Update

I’m afraid that it will have to be another brief update, today, Thonglateers. Gabby and Monica are in Birmingham, opening a gardening show. Later in the day they’ll be helping a knife manufacturer launch a new range of penknives, which means that I have another 24 hours of peace to push towards the end of the novel I’ve been writing for the last twelve weeks.

Yesterday I wore my fingers down to the knuckle and proofread 207 pages, with the word count of the whole anarchic nonsense rising by two thousand words. I have another hundred pages to go and a conclusion to write, but the end is in sight and I hope to be be back to thong snapping normality within the week.

I know you’re not interested in statistics and only come here hoping to catch me doing something limber in my thong, but there’s really not much else to say except ask: does anybody know a good way to finish a novel with a twist? Writing a book is nothing like finishing a strip. There's a natural end to the latter, while a book can just go on and on. It's an everyday tale about a thong gone wrong, but I have absolutely no idea how to end it.

7 comments:

Andrew said...

A novel should ideally end with a large unexpected explosion killing off the main characters.

Big Chip Dale said...

Ah, you're making the mistake of comparing what I'm writing to a 'good' novel. I'm not in the league of big explosions. I wouldn't know where to begin.

No, amend that... I think I've figured it out.

It begins with a spark and a nun doused in petrol. Yes, that's it! She runs screaming into the church which is where the terrorists from the Opus Dei splinter group have hidden the explosives in a nativity scene's donkey. Brilliant! The rest writes itself, despite what Edwina says.

I owe you a credit in the acknowledgments, Andrew.

Jan Tregeagle said...

I could only suggest reading the early pulps which so often had to end with a twist.

Aside from that I'm a big fan of the "holy crap, zombies from hell to eat our brains!" ending. It adds that certain something to a Mills and Boon that it didn't have before.

Of course it also would allow one to savour the ironic delights of thinking that there is a Mills and Boon reader with a brain to eat...

Jan Tregeagle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms Baroque said...

how about doing what comes naturally, and ending with a twist of the hips, Chippy?

Daily Referendum said...

Gabby wakes up to find the Big Chipper in the shower, it has been a dream all along and chip is not dead.

Andrew said...

I'm in awe of where you took that original shred of an ideda, Chip. A sure-fire winnder though it's almost certainly been done. Ideas like that don't float around too long before they're grabbed.