Sunday, August 26, 2007

Schoolfriends

So I’ve been keeping my head down for three days. Two of my old school friends came up to Bangor on Wednesday afternoon and insisted I go out drinking with them. Half-past two Thursday morning, my friend Ben was caught urinating on a parking meter. He protested his innocence, as all innocent men do, by urinating on a police car. In the ensuing fracas, a certain handsome man in a thong, who was only trying to calm things down, found himself pinned against a wall and being advised of his rights. He was taken into custody and spent a miserable few hours in the cells until he was liberated by Romanian paramilitaries who have since taken every opportunity of reminding about her reputation and standing in the community.

Since then, I’ve been trying to live down the shame of a police caution while trying to persuade my friends to go back home. They went last night and I’ve finally got my life back together.

There is a moral in this story about not being able to choose school friends. Any other time in a man’s life, he can decide who he wants to know. School friends are bad pennies. Every single one of them.

6 comments:

elberry said...

Never intervene, just fold your arms & watch from a discreet distance. Most of my schoolmates became fully-blown schizophrenics, woman-beaters, drug addicts & all round dregs. If they insisted i go drinking with them it would be in order to kill me & eat my body.

You spelt 'persuade' strangely.

Ms Baroque said...

Chip, know I what you mean. I'm currently on "holiday" in the town where I grew up and my greatest fear is that I might run into one of them. The REALLY scary thing about MY school friends is that they all seem to be teachers and guidance counsellors and things like that in the very schools we went to! Imagine a night out with them: a nice little chain restaurant somewhere along route something-or-other, no one drinking because they all have to drive home, which they'll do at about 9.30...

Listen. I think you got off lightly.

Ms Baroque said...

I mean, I know. I know what you mean.

On the upside, I did hear that a second cousin I remember from childhood, but haven't seen since, was left by his wife on account of all the drugs and alcoholism. Phew! (See, he probably stayed in his home town.) Apparently the wife wrote a letter to my dad all about it - I can't help thinking she sent the letter to every relative she had an address for! Wish I'd had one too...

Daily Referendum said...

So you are now one of the growing number on the DNA Databse. I bet they use it to clone you.

Mopsa said...

On the other hand, as I reminisced last weekend, old school friends can make you chortle mightily.

Sir James Robison said...

Yes, as Bertie Wooster discovered also, to his chagrin.