Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Prunic War

Gabby had to massage my buttocks this morning to help rid the tension I’m feeling during these difficult times. She told me that I’m big enough to rise above the insults. I told her that it’s bad enough being insulted by A list celebrities (see my many previous posts about Fern Britton) but when I’m insulted by minor celebs, I think action needs to be taken.

Madeley’s comments about ‘taffy pulling’ are racist in the extreme. I punched the last man to call me ‘Taffy’. I also find Madeley’s threat sexist too. The idea of forcing sexual relief on a Welshman is disgusting. I don’t know what these showbiz people get up to in their green rooms, but just because I wear a thong and strip for a living, it doesn’t mean I’m available to be ‘pulled’ at a moment’s notice.

I hope you’re with me in my determination not to back down. I noticed that Mopsa sent a nicely timed ‘prune juice’ into Madeley’s comments this morning and I hope others will join in the assault. I was disappointed to see Graf von Straf Hindenburg let me down, and him coming from the family that invented high level bombing. By refusing to drop a 'prune juice' in his comment, he has revealed himself to be a cad and a turncoat.

I beg the rest of you to stand firm in the face of this aggression.


Dick Madeley said...

Three thirty and still no sign of all these prune juice remarks you threatened me with.

Dale, you're clearly out of your depth and lack any support. Give it up now before it's too late.

Graf von Straf Hindenburg said...

Chip - you have to understand that prunejuice is as sensitive to Dick Madeley as it is to your bottom. A man in your position can't afford the slightest blowout but Richard - this is old history we're discussing here.

Let this be the start of a new dialogue, a new compassion, a new way forward, propelled by the gaseous prune fed exhaust of meaningful discussion.

Big Chip Dale said...

Isn't that just typical of a Hindenburg to talk about gas?

However, if you must act as peacemaker (and add a peace settlement to the long lists of services you've made to blogging), I'll just say that I didn't start this. Madeley came over here demanding that nobody mention my name on his blog. If he apologises, then I'll happily stop hurling prune juice his way.

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