Saturday, August 18, 2007

The Best A Man Can Get...

There’s a new ad on TV for a moisturizing shaving system by Philips and Nivea for Men. A guy goes to the shower and finds a busty female robot waiting for him with an electric shaver embedded into her wrist. She runs her hand over his face and gives him a shave. Then she makes a move as though to kiss him, at which point the guy jumps out of the shower and walks away, rubbing his chin as if amazed by the result.

Okay. Let’s rewind that and set this in the real world with a real guy.

A guy goes to the shower and finds a busty female robot standing there with an electric shaver embedded into her wrist. And all he can think of is shaving his chin? I don’t bloody think so. What were they thinking when they made this ad? Don’t they know how the male mind works? This guy’s going to have a full body shave or my name’s not Chip Dale. I know I would. I would have grabbed hold of my ankles quicker than I could say ‘short back and dangly bits’. I’d want it to shave all the bits that I normally find hard to reach and a few more I've never dared touch. And before you tell me I’m wrong: it’s a robot. It wouldn’t care what I asked it to hold, spread, or leave hanging.

As a man who takes his personal grooming very seriously, I think it strange that companies like Philips and Braun haven’t tackled this difficult and somewhat embarrassing subject. If they can help men with hair growing from their noses and ears, why can’t they invent something for the other end? There’s nothing more disturbing than having to give yourself a 'rear trim' standing with a leg on the laundry basket, a mirror in one hand, and your girlfriend’s ladyshave in the other.

6 comments:

All Shook Up said...

A real man would want his bum shaved? Are you sure?

Show of hands, please.

Graf von Straf Hindenburg said...

If they can help men with hair growing from their noses and ears

Have they really? Is there now a quick fix for this? That's wonderful - can you give me the number?

Andrew said...

"There’s nothing more disturbing than having to give yourself a 'rear trim' standing with a leg on the laundry basket, a mirror in one hand, and your girlfriend’s ladyshave in the other."

What if there was a hungry & ill-mannered goat in the immediate vicinity? This would surely be more disturbing.

Big Chip Dale said...

All shook up: in my line of business, a well trimmed bum is a necessity if I'm to call myself a professional.

Hindenburg, Braun do them. Check your local East European version of Argos. I think Black and Decker also do a range of nose trimmers which also do the hedge.

Andrew, not technically worse as it saves us the trouble. In fact, I highly recommend a goat for the job. Used them a number of times. Their beards often tickle.

Andrew said...

You're a brave man, Chip. I'll give you that.

Mopsa said...

TMI Chip, defo TMI.