Ships At Sea

Because I have to look after my bod, I’ve spent the morning in the gym. Nothing makes me feel better than getting well pumped; nothing, that is, except the buzz of the crowd on a Saturday night. Taking my clothes off and showing off my perfect body is heaven to the Chipster.

I don’t know why I’m telling you all this except to say that as I was working my thighs on the Stairmaster, I was watching Sky News and heard about this beached cargo container ship. The say there’s a good chance it will spill thousands of gallons of oil into the Irish Sea. Naturally, I was concerned. I remember 1998 when that Greek cargo ship went down in the Med and took UK’s supply of body oil with it.

Of course, I was relieved to hear that it’s only engine oil that they’re worried about and the only threat is to the British and Irish coastlines and the ecosystem. You probably think I don’t care about the environment but put it like this… It only takes ten or so years to clean up a coastline but do you know how a friction burn can last a lifetime? I once knew a dancer who didn’t oil up before a performance and lost half a buttock when he rubbed up against a party of secretaries from Rhyl. Those nails tore him to pieces where if he’d been wearing his oil, they would have slipped right off him.

Here endeth the Chipster’s lesson for today.