Afghan Opium

My thong must be prophetic. This morning I posted a story about my horse tablets and then the Chipster spots this report in the Telegraph.

Doctors are suggesting we use the Afghan poppy harvest to produce painkillers for the NHS. Sounds like a very reasonable idea. What’s the point in invading a country unless you grab its best resources? And to be honest, from where this thong is sitting, we’ve had nothing out of Afghanistan. Where are all the camels we were promised if we liberated them from the Taliban? A bit of opium has to be worth all the pain, sacrifice, and trouble.

It seems to me that the government don’t know how to negotiate. When I’m on stage and a lovely lady pushes five pounds down my trunks, I don’t immediately whip them off for her gratification. I tell her that for five pounds the Thongmaster will only gyrate his slick hips for her. We’re talking serious cash for the ‘full liberation’ and the government should adopt the same policy. For the UK to give Afghanistan the Full Monty, they should hand over their whole poppy harvest and a fleet of camels. Anything less than that is an insult to Britain and hardly made it worth our getting oiled up.