Sunday, October 14, 2007

HERllo Yoou Lovely Peeople



Who said tht rule number one about blogging is that yoyu don’t post when you are drunk. Ruddy Iain Dale I siuppose. Big heded bugger with all his fekcing readers. But when a man has enjoyed his birthdays and hadd only a teeeennnny weeennny bit of drink to be had, so I did, I say hang the tussocks off a rhinonscerous and say hello to all my friends out therte where the blogs life. Hip hip hooooray. It's my birdday!!!!!!!!!!

So howdy. BIG CHIP DALE HERE AND REPORTING FOR DUTY. I’m a little tupsy. Got type quitely cos Gabby’s asleep. Don’t want her to wake up. Shhhhsssss. Shes going to go mad when she sees what I’ve done to the carpet in the hall. But it’s not sick. It’s Chinese. Looks like sick but its nnoodles and something else I don’t what it is and i dont now how to spell it if i did. What exacty is waterchsnut?

Anyway. That was a bloody good night. Drink? I drank but not a lot. And I kept my clothes on. Well, not all my clothes and not all night. But I only took them off when I was asked. And I won’t hear a wordd said about the local constabularyaryy. Lovely men who let me off with a caution. But welsh policemen asre so very nice when it comes to things a man likes to do with a trombone. They made me put on my thong and stop blowing it late at night. My trombone not my thong. Bet you din’t know I played the trobone. Neithetr did I until I tried. Bloody good instrument. made a bloody raket like Tommy Dorsey eat your heart tommy.

Big lungs. Small lips.

Who said I’m drunk. You dirty rotten bastards. you mean Chip Dale’s got his balls out for nothing? Nothing in my thong tonight0. Professional dfisgrace… not even a fiver. Nothing down there but waterchestnuts and noodles. tasty.

Goind to bed. Very tired. Smell of garlic bread.

Love all of you. Ms barok in hacknee, moopsa, little cuddly Stevey at the Dairy Referandem, elberyy who says he’ll kill all of us and he probably means it. Mr gruff, Momantery Aneamic. Mind going. Colin the australian. And shades who didn’t wish me happy birthday. Why didn’t you wish old Chippy a happy birthday? bryn aappleyard who never comes to see me though i levae comments about his cat hat. Lord Higham who probably calls himself Dorothy now or something like that. HE'S IN RUSSIA! d… And eren the people who read but don’t talk to me. Why don’t you talk to me? Don’t you like me. But I love all of you….. LOVE ALL OF YOU! But did nobody like my bernie clifton story? I MET BERNIE CLIFTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, gab’s wak,ing iup.

Gotta go. Chat soon.

Yours sincerel.y

Chippy Dale. King of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I feel sick)


Daily Referendum said...

night night Chip. Don't forget to go to the toilet BEFORE going to bed.

elberry said...

Oh my, that made me laugh (in a horrible, wheezy way). Love this line:

Goind to bed. Very tired. Smell of garlic bread.

Momentary Academic said...

Oh. Dear. You're totally wasted. I LOVE IT. I hope that you caused even more scandals than you are letting on. I'm on my way to a birthday party, Chippy. I am going to have a drink for you!

Happy Birthday!

Internet Ronin said...

Here's hoping you feel ok in the afternoon (because I doubt you will be waking early in the morning).

Shades said...

Eleocharis dulcis, as you asked.