Friday, October 26, 2007

Be Back Soon...

First thing in the morning, I’m off to give my talk to Bangor’s young unmarried mothers. I’ll be in the Civic Hall discussing blogging from nine thirty, so feel free to drop by if you’re that way inclined. It means, of course, that I haven’t got time this evening to finish what I’ve been written for you. It will have to wait until I get home around lunchtime. It might be later if the young unmarried mothers keep me for long, and longer still if it involves my having to provide urine samples. Rest assured, The Chipster will not be fathering any little Chipsters in Bangor’s Civic Hall and anything you might hear on that subject will be unproven allegations by lonely young women.

You might ask yourself why I’m going to put myself through this ordeal. ‘Chip,’ you might even now be saying, ‘a man of your healthy loins should not be putting himself in a compromising situation involving mothers breast feeding their nippers before your unguarded thong.’

And I would normally agree with you. I have indeed been warned to wear something that’s easily wiped down as the air will be thick with the breast milk from heavily lactating mothers . Yet that will be he least of my concerns when there are so many new babies in the room. I don’t even expect my voice to be heard above the crying, the puking, and the mother’s baby talk, which if you ask me if much worse than any noise an infant can produce.

The reason I'm determined to see it through is that I’m beginning to enjoy my role as doyen to unwed mothers, new bloggers, and the rest. Only yesterday, I emailed my support to one of the more junior members of our society, to encourage him to keep blogging despite his woeful readership.

I’m talking, of course, about Richard Madeley, over at The Richard Madeley Appreciation Society. Little did I expect my email to provoke so much activity.

If you feel anything for me at all, you’ll head over there now and see what happens when The Chipster provides a man with inspiration. If you care not a jot about Big CD, but you’re in the mood for a story about massage parlors and North Koreans, then you should still head over there.

It will at least keep you entertained until the thong is back in the building.

4 comments:

Sen. Peter Higham Paul said...

Mind boggles. Chip, you appear to have a slightly unhealthy interest in young Madeley. Let the man stand on his own two feet and going over there right now to make that point.

Momentary Academic said...

I have a little crush on Madeley. And you of course, Chippy!

Big Chip Dale said...

Higham, it's not an unhealthy interest. The man's now a soul brother. I've decided to embrace his oddness as if it were my own. After our initial falling out, which was based on my dislike of him having seen him on the TV, I've warmed to him. It might not mean much but I say he writes a mean blog.

MA, you have crushes on everybody. Admit it. Have you seen Madeley on TV? He's not as interesting as he makes himself sound on his blog. As for having a crush on me, it's only natural. The last survey suggests that 92% of all women in Wales have a crush on me, with the remaining 8% saying it's more serious than that.

Bruce said...

"I've decided to embrace his oddness as if it were my own."

I daresay it is your own. I'm Bruce Forsyth, by the way.