A New Vista

I’m not a geek. I haven’t got the time. I haven’t got the halitosis. And there’s simply not enough room in my life for computers, Romanian girlfriends, and my ongoing quest to find the perfect thong. But I do like a good writing environment. I have a Mac sitting in my office for that very reason. I want easy to use machines that don’t answer back. I like sleek lines too. I want to oil up my machine late at night as though it’s an extension of Chipster central.

However, when it came to buying a laptop recently, I had to go for the PC. You don’t know how many times I’d have to fill my pouch with fivers before I could afford to buy a PowerBook. And Apple just won't extend their discounts to strippers, even though we're technically educating people as much as a teachers. That’s why I bought myself a Sony Vaio. A geek wouldn’t buy a Vaio. They’re probably more style than substance. But I don’t care. What I want in a machine is not what others want.

Which is why last night I installed my nice new shiny copy of Windows Vista and it doesn't matter to me about all the bad press it’s been getting. I simply love it like no man should love an operating system.

There will be some who say I’m a twisted deviant who also likes to steal the ice cream from children or push old people under tractors. But the truth is that I love my new Vista. I love it for one reason and one reason alone. My laptop goes from standby to work mode in seconds. In fact, it’s probably less than that. I open the lid and my desktop is ready for me. It’s as quick as that.
I don’t care about games, graphics, desktop publishing, or any of that rubbish. From standby to wordprocessor in milliseconds. I can’t ask for better. It allows me to pick up my laptop and jot down my latest though before I’ve had chance to forget it. If Microsoft could now only turn their attention to designing the perfect thong, I’d be a very happy man.