Back From Solitary

Feeling refreshed after my break from blogging yesterday, I’m now back in the groove and full of determination to advance the Chipster cause in the coming weeks. I’m encouraged by the fact that with the British sailors unable to tell them their tales, the newspapers will find themselves with a few column inches left to fill. I intend to contact them later today and to sell them the full story of my day in solitary. I can see the headlines now: ‘A Easter Bank Holiday in Hell’.

And I don’t intend on skimping on the gory details. This will be the full inside story of how I spent hours sitting on a recliner before the TV. I’ll recall the terrible conditions I experienced when I visited the refrigerator and discovered we’d run low on the wine. I expect it’s the sort of stuff that people will want to read about. It's the stuff that has won many a reporter a Pulitzer in the past.

It means, I suppose, that I’m really quite grateful to the government for last night’s remarkable climb down. Lesser climb downs have been made by teams of army commandoes abseiling the face of Ben Nevis. Des Browne deserves a medal for admitting that he was wrong. If only the rest of the cabinet could be so honest. We’d have the most highly decorated government in history. Stocks of copper, bronze, silver, and gold, would soon be depleted, and silk ribbon would carry a high market price.