Friday, May 18, 2007

The Chipster Never Stops Giving...



So what do you think?

What do you mean you’re overwhelmed? Oh, wipe away those tears! It was nothing. You all deserve the occasional treat, and, today, the Chipster has not one treat but seven. Seven high quality desktops so you can admire Wales’ top tourist attraction every moment of the day. Male or female: these are the desktops for you...

I’ve been arranging this little surprise for a while but it was Clive James who convinced me to act tonight. I managed to catch an interview he did with Terry Gilliam when he said something along the lines of: ‘It’s the death of art when you can put something off and not do the thinking immediately.’

That, I thought, sums the Chipster if nothing else does. I’m always putting off tomorrow what can be done today. Except now. These pictures are very now and I’m sure you’ll agree they’re very artistic. I also figured that if Britney Spears can thank her fans by posing semi-nude, The Chipster can go one better.

Tomorrow morning, Wales’ most gratifying body attached to the most promising face will be heading into England for the day. I also hope to spend some time in a bookshop. So if you happen to be in a Border's store and see a man sitting in the coffee shop, wearing a pale cream Hawaiian shirt with green trees, drinking a large orange juice and either scribbling furiously in a notebook or reading Clive James’ newest book, don’t hesitate to pop over and have a chat. You can tell me how bloody good I look sitting on your desktop.

I have one request, though. When you download these pictures to use as a desktop, please don’t start leaving icons sitting on my nipples. They chafe terribly.

So, until later…

Thong on…


15 comments:

Unknown said...

I do so hope they will use the "Vote Lib Dem" as a suitable cover for the next Lib Derm manifesto. What better reason to vote Lib Dem than to know that it might concievably lead to the Thonged One appearing more regularly in the media.

I can just see you now on PMQ...

Big Chip Dale said...

You know, Jan, I did think of getting the graphics company I hire to do my promotional material to put me against different backgrounds. I'll have to see how I'd look in PMQs. If I don't clash with the Parliamentary leather, I might yet consider running for office.

I've also considered contact the media to see if they'd like to use these as part of next feature they do on holidays in North Wales. For the moment, I'll just have to be happy knowing that the many Chipsterettes are saving these pictures to their desktops.

Ms Baroque said...

Well, this little Chipsterette is speechless. No, I mean it. Give those PR guys a bonus!

Big Chip Dale said...

Ms. Baroque, the PR guys had a bonus by actually giving them this assignment in the first place. I'm delighted, however, that you like the desktops. I've just had an email from a well known Insurance company in Cardiff, saying that they've now appeared on all terminals throughout all branches. I'm now hoping to hit the banking sector, with the Nat West saying they're interested in doing a campaign. We'll have to see...

At the least, I'm just glad to see they're spreading the word about Bangor, thongs, and the cause of Welsh stripping.

Mutterings and Meanderings said...

Ooooh Chip, I've come over all breathless...

Big Chip Dale said...

M&M: Well, if nothing else, perhaps you now begin to see the power of the Thongster. I'm now Wales' top male exotic dancer for no reason.

In fact, if you stare at my exposed nipple long enough, you'll begin to see my hips move. And what's most remarkable: it's no optical illusion!

Jamie Starbuck said...

One day, and I hope it's soon, I too wish to appear on such fine posters with an Adonis-body. You truly are a wonder.

Big Chip Dale said...

Jamie, it's part genes, part dedication, and a large part a blessing from the gods of Welsh thongdom.

I don't mean to dissuade you from doing your sit ups, but I'd prepare to be disappointed. The gods are not generous when it comes to gifting people with my level of looks.

Rich Tee said...

Chippy - you're just not large enough!

My resolution is 1400 x 1050. I need something bigger.

When I enlarge you you go all pixelated.

rilly super said...

I look forward to menzies doing something similar chip!

Shades said...

I find them offensive. Well, the last one, anyway.

Big Chip Dale said...

Realpolitik: my graphics company tell me that resolutions don't go that high. There's some kind of limit at 1024 beyond which they can't work. I don't understand it. I just take my clothes off and stand where they tell me.

Rilly: if Minges does something like this, perhaps my faith in the party would rise.

Ian: I have to admit that the last one is a bit close to the knuckle. I should really have worn one of my old shirts with a hole in it? ;-)

Daily Referendum said...

Chip,

You should be immortalised in bronze, so that future generations can gaze upon your image and weep at their own inadequacies.

Big Chip Dale said...

Steve, you know you're right but you're so right that I think it's worth saying that I think that you're right.

Bronze is, of course, the perfect material to represent my bronzed body. I just worry about its durability. Perhaps somebody could find a suitable side of a mountain in North Wales and I could have my likeness chipped out of the living rock.

Daily Referendum said...

That would be some welcome in the hillside!