Brief Pre-Update Update

Gabby has just broken down my study door to remind me to remind you to tune into the Eurovision Song Content tomorrow night.

Now I’ve done that, I can also admit that I’m a secret fan of Eurovision. It’s the only night of the year when the BBC opens its doors to sarcasm. Terry Wogan is a man after my own heart in that respect and I love nothing more than to sit here eating a large bag of crisps while providing my own commentary. I’m usually the first to vote on the oddball in the mix and last year I was sorely disappointed that Lithuania's LT United didn’t win with their rousing and deeply spiritual song, ’We Are The Winners’.



(Isn't that fantastic? And it gets better when you read about these chaps and what they did to help promote freedoms behind the Iron Curtain...)

Being Romanian, Gabby takes it all at face value. She doesn’t see anything wrong with shiny orange faces with rictus smiles. She thinks the whole thing is a celebration of European musical genius. I, on the other hand, thinks it is a fine reminder why the Good Lord put twenty two miles of good quality water between us and the rest of Europe.

May the best man dressed as a large Bulgarian tadpole win. So long as Scooch* come last.

* As I’ve pointed out elsewhere a while ago, Scooch have an unfortunate name if you check your slang dictionary. I wouldn’t like to discourage you from supporting them but I would like you to first consider what kind of message you’d be sending to the rest of Europe.

When God Made Wogan

So it has emerged that Terry Wogan has been taking a fee for Children in Need. Gabby’s appalled and swears she won’t listen to Radio 2 again. I’m delighted. It gives me even more reasons to worship the man.

I mean how politically incorrect is it for someone to take a fee for a charity gig where they spend the whole night praising people who have lived a week in a bath of prunes to raise £15 for the little children? But why should he do it for free? Why should ‘talent’ give our services for nothing? Sod that for a wheelbarrow full of needy causes. Give me more selfishness.

The world is so full of charade, fakery, and old fashioned flummery, that Wogan and his fee stick are the perfect antidote to Al Gore and his carbon footprint the size of Texas. Wogan is the honesty missing when Prince Charles goes jetting across the world to pick up his environmental awards.

First thing tomorrow morning, I’m off to get a tshirt made with the slogan ‘Wogan does it for money’.