Two Film Reviews

It has often been said that Chip Dale is an intolerant man, quick to form hasty judgements about people. Which is why it’s so good to occasionally say that I’ve changed my mind or that I was wrong.

It explains the two film recommendations I have for you on this cold Sunday in Bangor. They go together so well because they’re full of actors I’ve previously found so irritating that I’ve been known to flick over and find something with plenty of Emma Thompson in it.

Seraphim Falls

This was not what I expected. The press and advertising had me believing it a slow moving western which ultimately fails to make a case for the rebirth of the genre. Instead, I found myself watching a slow moving western which ultimately makes a perfect case for the rebirth of the genre. I barely took my eyes from the screen in the whole of the two hours.

If ‘slow moving’ puts you off, don’t let it. This is slow moving in the same sense that ‘Jeremiah Johnson’ was slow moving. It’s a film that moves at the pace of riding horseback through the American landscape. It also happens to be the best westerns of recent years with Pierce Brosnan turning in another of the grizzled performances that have finally begun to win me over since the days I grew to dislike him for his prissy Bond. Last year, I saw him in a little known film called ‘Matador’, which failed in as much as it tried to be cleverer and quirkier than it was, but succeeded in giving him the freedom to play against type. Although ostensibly a killer with all of Bond’s characteristic vices, Brosnan revelled in the chance to give them all a capital ‘V’: violently alcoholic, insanely psychotic, and so promiscuous that you were left wondering if his character would keep within his species. While ‘Seraphim Falls’ is nowhere near as dark, the lank haired, older Brosnan is perfect in a film which is, for the first half, pure ‘First Blood’, as he tries to survive in the wilderness while pursued by men out to kill him. The motives are unclear until the end, when the film develops into a slightly less convincing morality tale, with overtones of Eastwood’s two metaphysical westerns, ‘Pale Rider’ and ‘High Plains Drifter’. In passing, it’s worth mentioning the other lead role. Liam Neeson is another actor who I’ve previously preferred to avoid. I thought he was terrible in the Star Wars movies, but like Jeremy Irons (previously one of my least favourite actors), leapt in my estimation after ‘Kingdom of Heaven’. Here, older and with a face that suits the moral tone of the film, he’s the perfect protagonist.

You Kill Me

I’m sure Gandhi did many great things. I’ve just never been drawn to watching a three hour film about his life. I feel pretty much the same way about Richard Attenborough. As much as I’ve always loved him as an actor (I think he’d have won an Oscar for ‘10 Rillington Place’ if only he’d made it now or audiences could have got past that film’s darkness back in 1971), I’ve never been convinced that he’s that good a director. It always struck me that his films always aspired to that same kind of epic cinema as perfected by David Lean. Attenborough’s films never had that same thematic depth. Every time I rewatch them, they strike me as being easier than I want them to be. This is probably why he has always reminded me of Ron Howard, who moved from ‘Happy Days’ to become one of the most mediocre big name directors in Hollywood. Enormous budgets, high concepts, low (or, at least with Attenborough, competent but workmanlike) delivery.

This is a roundabout way of saying that I’ve never been a fan of Sir Ben Kingsley. The stories of his demanding that even his wife’s poodles call him ‘Sir’ have perhaps played a part in my disliking him. Yet two films have recently turned me around. The first was ‘Lucky Number Slevin’, in which he played a rabbi who also happened to be the head of a gangster organisation. ‘You Kill Me’ is a smaller film, smaller than anything that Attenborough or Howard would have made, but shows that small films can have their own kind of big perfection.

Kingsley plays an alcoholic hit man who begins to change his life around when he starts to attend Alcoholics Anonymous and work in a funeral home where he meets Téa Leoni. A dark comedy, full of stand-out performance (Dennis Farina steals every scene he’s in), it’s one of those left-of-centre films that remind me of Jonathan Demme’s work, which is no small compliment when it includes some of my favourite films of the 80s: Something Wild and Married to the Mob.

A Weekend In Film

Since they seemed popular, a few more of my mini film reviews from the weekend. I went a bit overboard on the movies, though I think I should begin to mark which films I watched because of Gabby and which I chose myself. This weekend, it was mainly Gabby who was making the selection.

Rule of thumb: if it involves horror or long range target shooting, you can be sure it's not one of mine.

Dreamcatcher – a somewhat under-rated adaptation of a Stephen King novel uses horror in a snowy landscape to good effect and is only let down by Morgan Freeman’s fake eyebrows.
1408 – An even better film adaptation of a Stephen King short story. John Cusack alone in a hotel room that plays his own nightmares against him. Excellent.
The Contract – John Cusack again, with Morgan Freeman in Bruce Beresford’s low key thriller which is actually quite good apart from Cusack’s apparent facelift
Spiderman 3 – Somewhat bloated with enough story for two films, it begins heavy on the cheese but gets better as it becomes darker. Toby McGuire has lost too much weight and the CGI has got worse with each film.
Oceans 13 – one of the best heist movies in recent years and the best of the Oceans films, mainly due to the absence of people called Zeta Jones and the presence of people called Pacino.
Every Which Way But Loose – can’t believe I loved it as a child, I now can’t get past the fact that Clint is playing redneck trailer trash. I could never get myself to like Sondra Locke.
Year of the Dragon – from the days before actors had facelifts and when Mickey Rourke was considered a very promising actor, Cimino’s blistering story of cops fighting the Chinese gangs in New York. A bit heavy on the melodrama but good nonetheless.
Sniper 2 – Perhaps one for the Tom Berenger completists only but a low budget thriller with better production values and acting than you usually find in low budget thrillers. Berenger is one of those actors who could (and should) have been bigger. He stole Platoon and steals this.

Oscar Tips Golden Thongs

As one of Wales’s top entertainers - Tom Jones claims he sells more records but I know who the ladies really appreciate - I often get privileged insider knowledge about the film industry. Being a very generous man (and read that how you like), I don’t see why I shouldn’t share my Oscar tips with you.

This year, all the smart money is going with Helen Mirren. The Chipster’s tip: Put all your money on The Queen. I don’t mean that literally. And I don’t mean thrust wads of cash down the front of Her Majesty’s dress. I mean bet a some notes on The Queen winning a few gongs at the Oscars. Mirren has never won an Oscar but she’s living with the top Hollywood honcho who directed Ray and as Gabby always says, living with a successful man is bound leave its mark on a woman. I’ll definitely be tucking a little something away for Helen. And for Gabby too. She’s such as sweet thing…

For best film and director, I wouldn’t be surprised if Scorsese finally gets the nod. In my opinion, he’s not yet made the definitive Scorsese movie involving a hot male thongman from Bangor and his Romanian girlfriend caught in a passionate romance while chased by the Welsh Mafia. But it’s also getting boring waiting for him to win an Oscar and if they don’t give him it this year, he might as well come and retire in Bangor instead.

Eddie Murphy might be the surprise winner in the Best Supporting Actor category. The academy will probably want to reward him for the fact he never made a fourth Beverly Hills Cop movie. The Chipster’s second top tip: Eddie Murphy should make a fourth Beverly Hills Cop. The third one was so terrific! I’ve never seen a strip joint captured on film with such realism.

For best picture in a foreign language, I expect Efter brylluppet will win. They make good films in Denmark and good bacon too. My instincts tell me this will win. I know nothing about the film but my favourite thong smells vaguely like bacon. It is obviously an omen.