The Prunic War

Gabby had to massage my buttocks this morning to help rid the tension I’m feeling during these difficult times. She told me that I’m big enough to rise above the insults. I told her that it’s bad enough being insulted by A list celebrities (see my many previous posts about Fern Britton) but when I’m insulted by minor celebs, I think action needs to be taken.

Madeley’s comments about ‘taffy pulling’ are racist in the extreme. I punched the last man to call me ‘Taffy’. I also find Madeley’s threat sexist too. The idea of forcing sexual relief on a Welshman is disgusting. I don’t know what these showbiz people get up to in their green rooms, but just because I wear a thong and strip for a living, it doesn’t mean I’m available to be ‘pulled’ at a moment’s notice.

I hope you’re with me in my determination not to back down. I noticed that Mopsa sent a nicely timed ‘prune juice’ into Madeley’s comments this morning and I hope others will join in the assault. I was disappointed to see Graf von Straf Hindenburg let me down, and him coming from the family that invented high level bombing. By refusing to drop a 'prune juice' in his comment, he has revealed himself to be a cad and a turncoat.

I beg the rest of you to stand firm in the face of this aggression.

Prune Juice

I’ve been getting grief from that cheeky bugger Richard Madeley who left a comment in my last post asking me (or, rather, telling me) to stop you, my dear readers, from mentioning my name when you visit his blog. It seems that it’s happened on more than one occasion and he’s getting tired of reading about my buttocks.

At first, I was shocked that any of you would lack the sense to visit his poxy blog, but then I thought about it and realised: why not? If Madeley feels threatened, then it's probably because he has neither the fame nor fortune to compete with the top male stripper in Wales. So, in the name of good bloggerly relations, I’m going to ask you to go visit his blog and not to mention my name. Instead, when you feel the urge, I’d like you to make lots of references to ‘prune juice’. I don’t want you to go looking for reasons to mention prune juice. Just mention ‘prune juice’ apropos of nothing. I’ll set the ball rolling and I hope he’ll soon learn that he can't bully those of us who believe in a free blogosphere.

If Madeley wants a blog war then I’m just the man in a thong to give him one.